What's the deal with the giraffe?

Back in 2014, I was working with Associated Reporters Abroad in Berlin, and we were asked by USA Today to follow up on the story about Copenhagen Zoo choosing to euthanise a healthy giraffe on the grounds that it had too many giraffes.

This all happened despite the pleas and exhortations from zoos and parks around the world, all of whom offered to take the giraffe rather than killing it. Copenhagen Zoo refused and went ahead with the planned euthanising.

Years later, I wrote a tweet linking back to the USA Today story, talking about how it had been one of the more-surreal days in the newsroom. Copenhagen Zoo responded, criticising me and the tweet, and the pair of us argued about it on Twitter for a good few days.

Why do you never describe yourself as a 'journalist'?

A ‘journalist’ is a reporter with ideas above their station in life. Until recent decades, this industry was a working-class industry. There was no such thing as ‘journalism school’. You merely started as a copyboy on a paper and then worked your way up.

And I still think that is how it should be. To be a ‘journalist’ is to be a professional, someone who wears a shirt and tie, puffed up with their own self-importance, and so high on having the ‘correct’ facts and opinions that they see themselves as moral arbiters rather than as someone there merely to report what happened and what was said. These are people who could afford to do internships; or had connections in the industry; who could take the time off to do longer reporting pieces; who had people who could support them in their early, low-paid years; or who already lived in London.

So that is why I call myself a ‘reporter’ rather than a ‘journalist’. I never went to journalism school, merely persuaded someone to take me on as a glorified apprentice. I’m a tradesman, not an artist.

What exactly does 'FIFIOTE' mean?

It stands for, ‘F*** it – fit it on the edit’. It’s because of this philosophy that I’ve never had to go through writer’s block. I merely write and if it feels terrible, that’s okay because I can work on and improve it on the edit. It’s much easier to work with something that’s there than it is to produce something perfect from scratch.

Why now documentaries?

Now that I’ve written and had published two books (there are third and fourth books already written, plus I’m working on a fifth) and branched into television with my commentating, it seems like a natural progression. Right now, I'm talking with a film production company and a big newspaper about making video content for them. Nothing made yet and everything is still at the pitch stage, but we're aiming for Louis Theroux-style pieces.

What’s your favourite documentary?

In terms of my favourite documentary, it changes day by day - but right now I'd say it's Song from the Forest by Michael Obert. It’s the story of Louis Sarno, a musicologist from New Jersey who, through a run of circumstances stranger than fate, ended up living in the Central African Republic, recording the music of the Bay’aka (he was also the subject of a wonderful Newsweek story by Howard Swains). It’s not only fascinating, but beautifully shot, too. And profound.

On a related note, the documentary that most influenced my career was When We Were Kings by Leon Gast. I remember coming across it around 2002, and seeing Norman Mailer and George Plimpton at their peak, traveling round the world to watch boxing, I decided that this was what I wanted to spend my life doing – travelling, having adventures and writing.

A couple of years ago, I was at the International Journalism Festival in Perugia when I ran into the director’s niece. It was brilliant to meet someone so close to something that had impacted me so deeply.

How did you end up living in Germany?

When I got laid off from my first magazine job, which was the insurance title Cover, I decided to quit London for a while and go to Paris to write a book. That changed to Berlin, which was still cheap. I did write the book, eventually, although it was not Death of a Boxer or A Duel of Bulls, and I’m hoping it will see the light of day at some point.

And six months in, I met someone, which greatly influenced my decision to stay. And I've been here ever since!

How'd you get to be so cool?

That's very flattering, thank you, but I'm afraid it's all smoke and mirrors - I am, in the flesh, quite quiet, quite boring, and a little reserved.

If I look interesting, it's because I think I can tell a good story. And since no good story starts with a good decision, that should be an indicator of all the bad choices I have made!

What’s your favourite font?

Trebuchet MS, size 10. Although I’m probably going to have to up the size soon as I’m getting older and my eyes are not what they used to be.